Kirito Slaps People in the Face with His Gender
by Kouji17
Summary: This is going to be a bunch of funny shorts where people mistook the gender of every ones favorite main character. And each character will get their own chapter.
1. Klein

_**Kirito Slaps People in the Face with His Gender: Klein**_

Instead of ditching Klein at the first town Kirito decided to stay with Klein and his has been one month since Kirito had joined Klein and his buddies. But there is still one problem… NO ONE KNEW IF KIRITO WAS A FUCKING MALE OR FEMALE! But unfortunately no one wanted to ask Kirito what their gender was.

While hunting like they always did on a Tuesday afternoon the others could not avert their gazes. Whenever Kirito used the forward slicing sword skill everyone could see his butt. Unfortunately for Kirito he has an incredibly female face and body frame. "Uhhhh can you guys not stare so much?" Kirito asked uncomfortable with the stares guys always give him. With that his guild mates embarrassingly looked away realising they were staring.

While getting new weapons Kirito was focused heavily on a sword. "Hey Klein we really need you to ask Kirito for us." said one of his guild members.

This made Kleins eye twitch as this issue came up every day for the path month. "How many times do I have to tell you? If you are curious then take the risk yourselves and ask Kirito yourself." Klein hissed at them.

"Alright I got my sword did you guys find anything you liked?" Kirito asked not knowing what they just discussed.

"N-NO! NO! I mean no we didn't really find anything that suited us." Klein said rubbing the back of his head. This made Kirito curious but he shrugged it off since this was normal behavior for them.

While at the dinner no one could take their eyes away from Kirito. As usual Kirito did not notice but Klein and the others certainly noticed. "Hey guys do you ever notice that people stare at us sometimes?" Kirito asked as he nibbled on his sandwich.

"No, I never really noticed people staring." Klein said scratching his goatee. The others agreed with him trying not to say anything else. After they ate they went to their rooms and as always Kirito slept by himself.

"Okay Kirito has got to be female if they always dress and sleep in a separate room." said guild mate 1.

"That is true but Kirito eats just as much as any of us." said guild mate 2.

"How much a person can eat is not a good way to determine a person's gender." said guild mate 3.

"Guys can you save it for tomorrow we are about to go to Kiritos room for a strategy meeting for tomorrows dungeon." said Klein. He herded them towards Kiritos room wher they discovered the truth. Kirito opened the door while still in his boxers. "And now you all get your answer." Klein said slapping his face.


	2. Agil

_**Kirito Slaps People in the Face with His Gender:**_

 _ **Agil**_

Agil heard that there was a meeting today about the upcoming boss battle. While walking there he bumped into someone much shorter than him. "Oh sorry… kid?" Agil said unsure of this persons gender.

"No worry, but also… please do not call me a kid." Kirito said sighing. This happens way too often for it to be even remotely funny at this point. "Are you joining the meeting for the boss battle?" Kirito asked Agil. Unfortunately for him since Agil was over two feet taller than him he had to look up while talking.

Agil found this amusing as he always did when he talked to half of the players he met. So when he took a step back to make it easier to speak he saw it. Kirito had a guild marker but was all alone for some reason. "Yes I am but where is the rest of your guild?" Agil asked confused by this sight.

"The others did not exactly feel comfortable fighting a boss." Kirito said rubbing the back of his head. This embarrassed him a little because of his guild mates' cowardliness at times like this.

"Well then want to party up for the boss fight Kirito?" Agil said extending a hand.

"Sure sounds good Agil?" Kirito said accepting his handshake. While at the meeting a person with orange spiky hair suddenly ran down the row of stairs.

"Beta testers are the reason we are stuck in this game!" Kabal said pointing to the crowd.

Feeling like he had to defend all the beta testers who were not here he jumped in. "They wrote the guide book!" Kirito said throwing his arms out. "Besides it is life or death, of course they will hog resources at the beginning! Any player doesn't want to die will do that!" He said trying to justify their shellfish actions.

"Oh yeah! Well I think I got an idea as to what you are-" Kabal said getting cut off by Agil. Quite literally as due to the fact that Agil sent him flying with his axe.

"We are here to talk not fight!" Agil said as he tossed him back to his seat. After giving Kabal an axe to the face both he and everyone went silent again.

After that … "INCIDENT" they decided who was in what group and who would do what they all went back to their inns to rest. When they got there Agil was surprised when Kirito offered to split the cost for the room. "I don't think that we should share a room?" Agil said rubbing the back of his head. Kirito was confused but decided to go along with his idea anyway. "Does this girl have no shame or what?" Agil asked himself in his head.

While they were fighting off the sentinels one of then sliced so close to his avatar that after that the game "GLITCHED". This caused both his coat and his under shirt to be destroyed. This is when Agil realised the truth, that Kirito was not a she but a HE! "You're a guy?" Agil asked unable to believe his eyes.

"Of course I am a gu-duck!" Kirito said pushing him out of the way and blocking the sentinel that was attacking him from behind.

The bosses' health then went into the red and killed Diablo a moment later. With that Agil and Kirito proceeded to finish off the boss. And when it was over everyone who saw finally realised that Kirito was a guy the whole time. "Why is everyone staring at me like that?" Kirito asked. Agil then face palmed unable to believe how one person could be so oblivious. "Hey does anyone else find it even colder now?" Kirito said rubbing his arms realising that his shirt was gone.


	3. Sachi

_**Kirito Slaps People in the Face with His Gender: Sachi**_

While Sachi and her friends were hunting they found themselves in a tight spot. They were surrounded by these Mantises like creatures. Fortunately for them a cute boy came in and saved them.

After a few minutes they were able to make an opening to escape. Sachi could not believe that she met someone this cute. Considering that most of the male players were unfortunately much older than her.

"So… thanks I guess? Kirito?" Sachi said looking up above Kiritos head panting. Kirito chuckled as due to this being an amusing sight for him.

Later at the bar they celebrated the only way they knew how to in SAO. After knocking back a quite a few drinks the question finally came. "Tell me why you are not with your guild right now?" Keita asked confused by the guild marker he saw.

"Oh that… my guild may have mistook my gender." Kirito said rubbing the back of his head. "I may have overreacted a little when it happened?" he said looking the other way. "So now I might be a little too embarrassed to face them." Kirito said blushing slightly.

"OH SO YOU ARE A GIRL AND NOT A GUY." Everyone in the moonlight black cats thought (That is right they just as stupid in my story as they were in the anime people, if not even more so).

"Well then how about you party up with us for a while?" Sachi asked boldly looking towards her guild mates. They all nodded in agreement and it was decided.

Kirito decided to spend a few minutes deciding what to say to Klein after getting a room. "Hey Klein look I'm going to leave the guild for a while… see you soon?" Kirito said before ending the recording. With that he sent the message and went to bed soundly.

The next day he partied up with the members of the Moonlight Black Cats. It was a far more efficient hunt compared to his guild or rather former guild. Unlike them these cats did not get distracted by simply playing with Kirito.

A few days later Sachi ran away from the inn with tears streaming down her face. Since Kirito was the best tracker in the group he went to search for her. Once he found her he sent a message to Keita telling him he found her and that she was safe.

Kirito then walked up to her and sat next to her getting her attention. "What is the problem Sachi?" Kirito asked concerned for his new friend.

"I can't take it anymore!" Sachi screamed holding both sides of her head. "I wished I took the easy way out instead of actually meeting up with the others that day." she said crying into her chest as she went into the fetal position.

That is when Kirito pat her head like he would with Sugu when they were little. This caused Sachi to stop crying for a moment and look up at him. "I know things may seem dark now but eventually we will clear this game and get back to the real world." Kirito said with a soft smile on his face.

Sachi could not believe what she was seeing before her very eyes. Even though Kirito looked younger than her she felt like the older sister she never had. It was in this moment that she decided that she was going to become this girl equal. "Can we go back to the inn now?" she asked with a smile. With that Kirito got up and took her hand guiding her back to the inn.

The next day they went five floors further in order to collect more col. After playing it safe for the past month they decided to take a risk. Sachi especially wanted to improve. This made her guild mates fired up as well.

While hunting a red player spotted them and ran off. Kirito recognised them from the other night when they tried to listen through the door of one of the Moonlight Black cats. Kirito spotted this and they ran away, so Kirito told them and they decided to pair everyone up for the night.

He found it odd that they paired him with Sachi but she had no problems with it so neither did he… that is until they had to change their clothes. "Uhh Saichi? Could you… look away for a second?" Kirito said blushing.

Sachi did not realise Kirito could feel this self-conscious around girls. "O-okay!" she said panicking slightly as she turned around. When she got down to her underwear a dagger flew at her from the window.

Fortunately Kirito caught it but that is when she saw his boxers. "S-s-so you are… a boy?" Saichi said unable to believe what Kirito just saw. She then proceeded to scream and slap him in the face.

The next day Kirito told them that he was a male. Keita and the other guys felt embarrassed and agreed to never speak of the fact that they mistook his gender ever again.

"Hey Kirito can I ask you a favour?" Sachi said tugging on his shirt. This reminded Kirito of Sugu when they were little, so he nodded. "Can I call you Onee-Chan from now on?" she asked with the cutest puppy dog eyes anyone has ever seen.

Since Kirito was used to Sugu calling him Onee-Chan he decided why not. "Alright but just please… stop with the puppy dog eyes already." Kirito said covering his eyes. This rewarded him a hug from Sachi, and giggles from the other guys.


End file.
